How To Tuesday

How To Drive Your Teen Bonkers

Driving your teen bonkers is actually a very simple process since they have so many buttons to push. Since I've recently become the least "with it" person and the most embarrassing person in the whole world, I decided I'd work with that. Here are simple ways to clear a room of teens and get a little peace and quiet as an added bonus:

1. Mispronounce words.
My daughter is a big fan of Japanese cartoons called manga. It's "main ga." I pronounce it "mahn ga" and wait for the fireworks!
2. Refer to old names for current technology.
Instead of asking about my teen's PSP, I ask if she needs to recharge her Atari before we leave on our errands.
3. Ask why ninjas in cartoons are wearing orange jumpsuits when everybody knows ninjas wear black pajamas.
4. Reminisce about the days when vampires were dark, evil characters. Now they sparkle and have moussed hair.
5. Wait until their friends are at the house, then tell cute stories about your teen's childhood. Better yet, pictures!
6. Remind them to rewind the DVD before putting it back in the box.
7. Pepper your conversations with "lol" speak. Here's one of my favorites, "BTW, before you go out, that room better be clean."
8. Become a Facebook friend and post sweet notes on their wall.
9. Wear a geeky shirt, everywhere.
10. When they insist on going to the store with you, purchase something really embarrassing. Example: Hemorrhoid cream, and don't even try to hide it. You'll be shopping solo for awhile.